It's sad that I was gonna come on here with a joke that I'd stolen from someone.. And now I don't remember what that joke is. Four.. Five days 'above the influence,' even. Anywhy, I just ordered this gag:
and in those colors too. I had a rough time picking them out, because the other colors for the ball were:
Now, I'm sure it has something to do with lighting and color settings, but isn't that the most hideous red you've ever seen? It's as though someone said "Hey, you know the obnoxious orange color that Gatorade lids come in? Add a drop of hymen blood to that, and we got a sweet fuckin' hue for our big, rubber ball!" (Yes, there's an empty Gatorade bottle on my desk. (No, my sheets are not stained with girl-cherry.)) Carolyn suggested green, but the only gag I could find with green was like, weeks ago, and not $28. You can get the strap in a lot of colors too, which added to this difficulty. For example, the white gag and white strap looks pretty fucking sweet in terms of negative space,
But even with careful washings and care, it's clearly gonna turn a bit grey. And then it's just.. slighty distasteful at best, and realistically, gross and unappealing. I was also thinking about pink, just to make it more.. friendly on nervous, feminine eyes, but.. I dunno. Didn't seem like that would make such a huge deal, even though pink strap with black ball did look pretty sweet. The blue ball was the runner up, but, uh. I dunno. I just like purple still. Plus, I'm hoping it'll look really pretty with drool.
Also, you know what's weird? When you blink, and you can hear it. That just happened to me, and it makes me wonder if I have too much pthalates in my diet.
I've had an empty stash for like.. Well, I haven't had a proper stash in weeks. But my lungs've been parched for 4 or 5 days now.
I just noticed I have toothpaste on my shirt. I really hope it's from tonight, and that I have -not- had this all day. On the other hand, it seems to have landed like.. dead center, and in a clean line, not a round, goppy drip, like a perfect longitudinal meridian slash. Maybe I'll keep it. Like.. "You damn right my nipples and this slash that may or may not be whiteout and probably isn't make a perfectly centered and symmetrical triangle."
You know, I was watching the Three Stooges the other day, and I finally figured out why women don't like the Three Stooges..
They're not funny. That's why women don't like them. They aren't funny.